Start your marriage off right and never use these words…separation or divorce. Don’t speak them, don’t even think about them. Quitting is not an option. Agree to push, press, run or whatever it takes to get through every obstacle that comes your way as a couple. “What God has joined together, let no one separate.” Including the two people who said “I Do”!
One night my husband was speaking at a cell group of high school students. After twenty minutes or so he started coughing…I got up immediately and brought him some cold water. I remember him pausing and telling the kids, “see, she knows what I need before I even know.” This happened when we were dating, before kids, bills, and daily stresses. I was very attentive to his every need and desire, at that time. Three houses and four kids later, his needs become a little foggy at times.
In Genesis 2:18, The Lord God says, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Though this is a hard thing to swallow for our culture including our church culture, being a helper for our husband is a principle that comes from our Heavenly Father. The Bible however does not say, when you have kids it’s okay to lack in this area or to put your husband’s concerns aside until your children grow up and move out.
Below are a list of ideas to show your husband his needs come first.
1. Have his clothing clean for the work week.
2. Prepare his favorite meals at dinner and not just what the kids will eat.
3. Ask him if there is anything he needs before you go on a grocery run.
4. Know your husband’s likes and dislikes so you can pick up things to surprise him.
5. Get the kids to bed early so your husband can have some quite time.
6. Serve his plate first at dinner.
7. Ask him before bed if there’s any errands or things that you can take care of the following day.
8. When attending a party, make him a drink, or as he rests, on the couch, serve him a cold beverage.
9. When your husband asks for something, be quick to get it, rather than telling him to wait until you are done with x, y, z.
10. Most importantly, be aware of his emotions, feelings, and attitude…these things will guide you on what your husband is lacking and where you need to step up.
Dear God, thank you for creating us to be helpers to the leader of our home. May each woman see this position as an honor and take joy, for as we serve our husband we are serving You and as we help our husband we are helping You. Clear our vision today to see our husband’s needs and help us to put them first. In Jesus Name, Amen
Around eight o’clock, in the morning, my husband comes home from the gym. I’m usually making breakfast for the kids, packing Kayla’s lunch for pre-school, and attending to our one year old, all while eating my breakfast standing up. This is my norm, but there is something missing in the equation…my husband! There were times he asked me to make him breakfast and I would smart off something like, “can’t you see how busy I am?” He has also asked me, to make his lunch and I would say, “I don’t have time this morning”. He had heard these answers for so long that he stop asking and it broke my heart, once I realized what I had been doing.
I was so use to juggling everything for our four young children that I had placed him last after their needs. This is not the order God has planned for marriage. Your husband must be your number two, right after God, not your number three, four, or five. You are here to serve him, help him, and support him!
Women can develop blurred vision when they become a mother. They take on this responsibility of caring and nurturing for a child and lose sight of dad, their mate, their husband. I want to help you today get your vision corrected. Here are some ways to strengthen your focus.
1. Get up earlier than normal, so you have enough time to take care of your husband’s needs as well as your children’s.
2. Go to bed early or at least a decent hour so you are able to remain strong throughout the day. The last thing your husband wants, is to see an exhausted wife laying on the couch, after he has been working all day.
3. Practice telling your kids to wait instead of your husband. Unless it is a life threatening matter, they can wait.
4. Make it a habit to say yes or sure when your husband asks for something.
5. Pray for him, everyday, all day. When you are continually praying and thinking about someone how could you push their needs aside.
In Matthew 6:21 it says, “Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also”…in this case, I want you to think where is all your time and effort going. Over investing in your children and under investing in your husband can cause problems that can lead to horrific conclusions. It’s not too late. Evaluate your vision. Once you do, I guarantee your husband will look better than you have ever seen him before!
Elizabeth George says it best in her book A Woman After God’s Own Heart, “Nothing just happens, including great marriages! As much as you and I might desire to be a wife who lovingly supports her husband, such loving support comes only with planning.” So plan alone times, plan dates, plan special dinners and plan special deeds of kindness, then reap a happy husband and a healthy marriage.
Dear God, help us to correct our order of priorities. Give us wisdom on how to organize our time and our day. Thank you for blessing each of us with a man that leads and supports our family. May we honor our husband by placing him second after You, therefore obeying Your Word. In Jesus Name, Amen
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
As I iron my husband’s work clothes this morning I say a prayer over him. It is crucial we pray for our spouse everyday. Our husband carries a weight we will never know and the devil is ready at anytime to bring him down (Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Peter 5:8). For he knows if he can take down the husband he can take down the family!
When I pray for my husband I like to start where the biggest battles are fought, their mind. Some of the things I pray for are pure thoughts, discernment and wisdom. I continue down his body and pray for his ears to hear the voice of God in his daily walk with Him. I pray his mouth would be used to encourage and strengthen others. I pray that his shoulders would not carry heavy burdens, but that he would place them in his Father’s hands. When I get to his hands I pray over his job, the company and the role he plays. The heart can also be a place of battle, during this time I pray for our marriage and God’s protection over it. Then I continue on and pray that his legs stay strong so, that his body can continue doing the work God has called for him. Last, but not least, I pray that God guides his feet daily. These are just a few examples of things I pray when talking to the Lord about my husband.
Your prayer doesn’t need to be the same, just praying over your spouse is the key.
As a teacher leads a class, a sergeant leads men into battle, and a pastor leads a church, so our husbands lead our family.
God help me to continue to be a praying wife. Help us to see the importance of praying for our spouse daily. For as we pray for them, we are praying for ourselves…for we are one. Let us also remember to be thankful for our spouse and their relationship, in your mighty name. Amen.