It’s B-A-C-K…

img_0774Well Ladies, it’s that time again! #footballseason

You have two options:

1) Complain and nag to your husband about football games he’ll watch all season… (That’s about 6 to 7 months of wasting your breath!)

OR

2) JOIN HIM!!! Buy the gear (#livelovegameday), plan football parties, and make yummy football food!

*I selected the second option early on in our marriage and I’ve never regretted it!

Women, pick your battles wisely, this one isn’t worth it!

I VOW TO ALWAYS LOVE YOU, EVEN DURING FOOTBALL SEASON ❤

#datechallenge

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If I asked you, what is the percentage you wear the wife hat compared to the mother hat, what would your numbers look like?

A mother to a newborn may look something like this 80% (mom) to 20% (wife). A newborn is very needy, so it’s understandable during this time to have your roles skewed.
Okay, you don’t have a newborn, so what are your numbers?

A friendly a reminder:
1. God
2. Spouse
3. Children

If your numbers don’t look closer to this 65% (wife) and 45% (mom), I have a challenge for you.
Take out your calendar and schedule at least two dates a month with your spouse.
#datechallenge

Jump start your marriage!

TAG a friend and encourage them to be apart of the challenge! ❤️

Is your sundae melting? 

  For a wife, sex comes out of affection. She doesn’t want to be affectionate with a man who makes her feel angry, hurt, lonely, disappointed, overworked, unsupported, and uncared for, or abandoned. But for a husband, sex is pure NEED. His eyes, ears, brain, and emotions get clouded if he doesn’t have that release. He has trouble hearing anything his wife says or seeing what she needs when that area of his being is neglected. Wives sometimes have it backwards. They think, we could have sex after we get these other issues settled. But actually there is a far greater chance of settling the other issues if sex comes first.

That’s why it’s important to make sex a matter of priority in your marriage. Whether all conditions are perfect or whether you feel like it or not isn’t the point. The point is meeting the needs of your husband and keeping communication lines open. A man can easily be made to feel insignificant, beaten down, discouraged, destroyed, or tempted in this area of his being. There’s probably no more important means of fulfillment for a man, and no area where he is more vulnerable. (Excerpt from The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian) 

I like to explain it like this, “Sex isn’t the sprinkles on your marriage sundae. Kisses are the sprinkles that add flavor, but sex is the freezer that holds your marriage sundae together!” 

That three letter word is not an option you can say no to. The health of your marriage depends on it! 

You Choose The Cycle

My Number 2It’s easy to show respect when your husband is showing you unconditional love daily, but it is a different story when your spouse doesn’t even acknowledge you’re there in the same room with him, much less tell you he loves you!

There are two cycles Dr. Eggerichs talks about in his book Love and Respect. The first cycle involves a wife that disrespects her husband, which is followed by the husband withdrawing and giving an unloving response to his wife. This crazy cycle can go on and on eventually forming a wedge between the couple. The second cycle, is one of love displayed by the husband, which brings respect from the wife for her husband and vice versa. However, I wonder what happens when you feel stuck, when you feel you’re doing your part, but your spouse is not responding in the way you would expect.

This is where it becomes challenging. How are you to respect someone when they take you for granted or rarely show how much you mean to them? Friend, the only way is to have a close relationship with your Heavenly Father. We are naturally selfish people that want our needs met or we aren’t happy. In marriage self must not be a factor.

I love what 1 Peter 3:1 says, “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the BEHAVIOR of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”

This week I encourage you to show your husband respect even when you don’t feel like it. I ask you to stop and pause before using condescending words that will only create more damage in your relationship. Instead, choose words that will build your husband up and pray over him everyday (all day).

I love you sweet friend and you aren’t alone.

*If you live in the Central Florida area I want to invite you to our Monday meetings at 10am at Faith Assembly on Curry Ford. From the Committed Heart will start back up around the end of August beginning of September. It is a group of women that come together to encourage each other to stay committed and to show wives and moms out there you aren’t alone!

Love and R-E-S-P-E-C-T

  Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Women desperately need love. It’s the way God designed us to be. If you notice though, the Bible doesn’t say husbands love your wives when she’s sweet, when she cooks, when she has a thankful attitude. No, it’s says, husbands love your wives, period. The love it speaks of is unconditional.

In the same manner, men desire respect. Believe it or not, our husbands are starving for admiration and to be honored, whether they deserve it or not.

Now, here comes my question; when was the last time you let him know how much you appreciate him? I encourage you to sit down and think of a few things you admire about him. Then when your husband is relaxed and not distracted mention one or two to him.

Make a decision tonight to stop the crazy marriage cycle of frustration, “he’s not loving me so I’m not showing him the respect he needs.” Instead, let your words start a cycle of love and respect!

Love and Respect

The funny thing about respect is, as women, if we don’t feel loved, we don’t give respect. This creates a vicious cycle of selfishness in your marriage. She doesn’t show me respect, so I won’t show her love. He doesn’t show me love, so he doesn’t deserve my respect. That’s where we are wrong! The Bible doesn’t say, WHEN your husband outwardly shows you love, then you should respect him. No, it’s a command with no fine print added.

Do you want to feel love from your husband? Do you want attention? Then try something for me stop nagging, questioning, and criticizing everything your spouse does. But Bethany, I’ve been doing that for years and nothing has changed. Friend, it will never change doing things your way. Stay committed in your prayers and let God’s light be a witness to your husband by your words and actions of respect. It’s not the easy way, but it’s God’s way, the right way.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, take time to evaluate yourself. Don’t worry about what your husband is or isn’t doing, rather, ask God to help you be the wife He has created you to be.

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