Have you ever felt disconnected, separated, like you were living with a roommate instead of your spouse?

The roommate syndrome is very common. It can happen at any time during the marriage. For us, it occurred between the third and fourth child. I love my husband and took care of him, but the butterflies had flown away. To be totally honest, life got busy. If I wasn’t pregnant, I was breastfeeding, and if I wasn’t breastfeeding I was pregnant. I had four kids within six years. I worked and homeschooled during all my pregnancies. I allowed my children to consume me…I was depleted and exhausted…there was nothing left to give my husband.

I could feel the separation, actually it was more like the Great Wall of China. One thing I started noticing was the lack of flirting and where was his eyes, not on me, how about his hands? I had pushed him away so far that there was nothing left but a cold environment of two roommates coming in and out of a house. One bringing in the pay check to pay the bills, the other was a CEO of the house.

I never stopped loving my husband and vice versa, but the sparks and fireworks were snuffed out. If you feel like you are living this way now, let me encourage you to pray. Fight for your marriage, ask God to help you to be the best husband or wife you can be, to awaken the passion and to open your eyes to your spouse’s needs. Second, go to your husband/wife and ask them to forgive you. Don’t expect it in return, it’s about you and your part. Let God take care of your spouse in His timing. Then, you guessed it…the fun part…let’s get physical, physical…a hand on their leg as you watch tv, a back rub as you walk by them in the kitchen, or even eye contact in the midst of a party to let them know they are the only one you really care about. Roommates don’t touch, but newly married couples can’t keep their hands off each other! I don’t know about you, but I’ll take the a newlywed marriage over a roommate relationship any day.

Let me leave you with this; Even though the cloud has been cleared from your vision, it doesn’t mean it has for the love of your life. Be patient, avoid nagging, pressuring, or ingenuine affection. The Colosseum wasn’t built in a day. Continue to pray and even fast, then patiently wait for God’s most radiant pyrotechnics show!