Patience is not about waiting, but your attitude while you wait.
Is your marriage struggling? Do YOU feel like you are the only one putting any effort into the relationship?
Friend, don’t grow weary…seek God and He will give you the strength to push through, because it is His will for your marriage to succeed. But he doesn’t desire for you to just wait with a spirit of hastiness and irritation. He wants you to wait with love, peace, faith, and patience (with a good attitude).
You won’t be able to do this alone. Your attempts will only lead to frustration. Call on God and allow him to fill you with new hope and love everyday.
Have you ever felt disconnected, separated, like you were living with a roommate instead of your spouse?
The roommate syndrome is very common. It can happen at any time during the marriage. For us, it occurred between the third and fourth child. I love my husband and took care of him, but the butterflies had flown away. To be totally honest, life got busy. If I wasn’t pregnant, I was breastfeeding, and if I wasn’t breastfeeding I was pregnant. I had four kids within six years. I worked and homeschooled during all my pregnancies. I allowed my children to consume me…I was depleted and exhausted…there was nothing left to give my husband.
I could feel the separation, actually it was more like the Great Wall of China. One thing I started noticing was the lack of flirting and where was his eyes, not on me, how about his hands? I had pushed him away so far that there was nothing left but a cold environment of two roommates coming in and out of a house. One bringing in the pay check to pay the bills, the other was a CEO of the house.
I never stopped loving my husband and vice versa, but the sparks and fireworks were snuffed out. If you feel like you are living this way now, let me encourage you to pray. Fight for your marriage, ask God to help you to be the best husband or wife you can be, to awaken the passion and to open your eyes to your spouse’s needs. Second, go to your husband/wife and ask them to forgive you. Don’t expect it in return, it’s about you and your part. Let God take care of your spouse in His timing. Then, you guessed it…the fun part…let’s get physical, physical…a hand on their leg as you watch tv, a back rub as you walk by them in the kitchen, or even eye contact in the midst of a party to let them know they are the only one you really care about. Roommates don’t touch, but newly married couples can’t keep their hands off each other! I don’t know about you, but I’ll take the a newlywed marriage over a roommate relationship any day.
Let me leave you with this; Even though the cloud has been cleared from your vision, it doesn’t mean it has for the love of your life. Be patient, avoid nagging, pressuring, or ingenuine affection. The Colosseum wasn’t built in a day. Continue to pray and even fast, then patiently wait for God’s most radiant pyrotechnics show!
A husband and wife will agree and disagree, it’s part of being human and having different personalities…but they may never agree on quitting.
Start your marriage off right and never use these words…separation or divorce. Don’t speak them, don’t even think about them. Quitting is not an option. Agree to push, press, run or whatever it takes to get through every obstacle that comes your way as a couple. “What God has joined together, let no one separate.” Including the two people who said “I Do”!
“Commitment is more than a word, it’s a choice you make everyday to honor your word.”
Finding people today that stay committed is rare. When things get difficult and adversity comes, most quit…their jobs, friendships, church and even their marriages. Commitment is not for the weak or selfish. Commitment goes beyond our own strength, to stay true to our word we must rely on God for that strength. I guarantee, there will always be opposition, complications, and obstacles that come into your life. I encourage you in those moments to take refuge with your Heavenly Father, ask Him to give you the strength to overcome and stay committed to the decisions you have made.
My husband and I were talking the other day about a couple and then he turned to me and asked, “is there hope for that marriage?” I said, “there’s always hope!” Friend, I know life is difficult at times, but don’t give up! When the clouds look dark on one side, turn to the other side until you find the blue sky…it’s there, it just might take a little time to find it! Take hope in knowing today, God will never give up on you. Pray often, stay committed and believe we are more than conquerors through him that loves us!
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. ~Romans 8:37
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. ~Philippians 4:13
15 Marriage Builders (from Pastor Chris Hodges)
-love yourself first
-start each day with a hug
-say “I love you” before you part ways
-compliment freely and often
-go on a date once every week
-let her give you directions when your’re lost
-laugh at his jokes
-Men- ask her to marry you again
-Women- say yes
-never go to bed mad
-always work it out
10 Marriage Killers (from Pastor Chris Hodges)
-over commitment and physical exhaustion
-debt and conflict over how money will be spent
-interference from in-laws
-alcohol or substance abuse
-pornography, gambling, and other addictive habits
-“grass is greener” syndrome