Start your marriage off right and never use these words…separation or divorce. Don’t speak them, don’t even think about them. Quitting is not an option. Agree to push, press, run or whatever it takes to get through every obstacle that comes your way as a couple. “What God has joined together, let no one separate.” Including the two people who said “I Do”!
I had a refreshing morning just being Bethany! No hats attached (wife,mom,ect…)! Anyone that knows me, knows I don’t like to leave my little ones, but I believe it’s important to get away just for a bit every once in a while. Wearing hats are a beautiful thing, each one helps me to be a better person. They bring happiness and joy into my life, but I must be careful not to lose myself in the midst of all them.
However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly] Ephesians 5:33 (The Amplified Bible)
It’s easier to find money on the side of the road than it is to find respect. But we are called and commanded by God to respect our husbands, so why don’t we do it?
For starters, I believe some people are simply not taught how to respect our husband. We might have never seen our mom respecting our dad, so what would make us think we needed to do so when we got married. Society can also play a role in how we treat our husband, just watch a couple of tv shows…you will most likely hear the wife putting down the husband, talking down to her husband and then making fun of her husband behind his back. We have gotten so far away from what the word has told us to do that we think these shows are normal and to respect your husband is humiliating. Wow, have we got it backwards.
Like it or not, husbands have been given authority over their families by God. 1 Corinthians 11:3 says, “…the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” I know this is not a popular scripture, even among Christians (which is sad), but never the less, it is truth.
Have you ever watched a man who’s married to a woman that stands beside him, encourages him daily, supports and respects his decisions? If you look closely, you will see a man that walks with pride and confidence. Now watch the man who is belittled by his wife multiple times a day and inappropriately contradicted in front of others…this man walks insecure and will even question his decision making.
Below are some questions to self examine yourself and your level of respect for your husband. If there is any question, ask your husband what he thinks.
“What’s the matter with you?”
“What you said is ridiculous.”
“You’re too slow, I’ll do it myself.”
2. Do you treat your husband in private as respectfully as you do your pastor, your neighbor, or your friends in public?
3. Does your countenance show your disrespect by angry looks, looks of disgust, crossed arms, etc?
4. Do you bring up his shortcomings to others?
5. Do you compare him unfavorably with other men?
Remember your husband shouldn’t have to earn your respect, it’s something you choose to show him…regardless of your circumstance and in spite of your feelings.
God help us to respect the man you have put over our household. Help us to see we can empower our husband with our words and how we can also cripple him with our disrespect. Give us wisdom to know when to speak and patience for the times we should hold our tongue. May we set the right example for our children in the way we respect their father, so others can say our husband is truly blessed. In Jesus Name Amen
Proverbs 12:4A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an HELP MEET for him…And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam…and he took one of his ribs…And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man” (Genesis 2:18, 21-22)
Help meet, what does that even mean? Let’s start with the two words (help-meet), which is to say Eve was created to be a helper (noun) who was meet (adjective), suited to Adam’s needs. Now before all the strong powerful wives get crazy on me, take a deep breath. What I’m sharing is in the word of God, so if you feel your blood pressure rising, step away and take some time to ask God to open your heart to his perfect call on your life as a wife, then come back and read the rest.
Being a help meet doesn’t make us inferior to our husband’s, it means we are there to make him more productive and efficient at whatever he chooses to do.
Taking on the role as the help meet, requires a woman to be wise, smart, strong, selfless, attentive, available and able to help in many different tasks (by the way if you missed the description in the sentence above, a help meet is the opposite of a weak frail girl). Being that help meet to my husband has me doing different tasks inside our home and sometimes outside home, whatever it takes to help him. About three years a go, I took a step back and evaluated our family time. My husband was working between 45 and 50 hours a week and when he made it home he was still plugged (phone calls, emails, texts) in at times. The weekend would come and he would spend another two to three hours working outside away from the family. That’s when I realized if we wanted more time with daddy, I needed to step it up. Being a stay at home mom doesn’t guarantee us more free time but it does mean we can prioritize our time and tasks. I began mowing our lawn every other week giving my husband more time to relax and enjoy our family. Mowing the lawn might not be for every wife. Your husband might not want you to do the outside work but you won’t know until you ask.
When you are a help meet to your husband, you are a helper to Christ, for God commissioned man for a purpose and gave him a woman to assist in fulfilling that divine calling. God has given us the instruction, it is up to us if we choose to obey and honor our husbands and then ultimately honoring God our Father, “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but she that causeth shame is rottenness in his bones. ” (Proverbs 12:4) It is our job to learn how we can help our husbands in every way possible and as strong, wise, confident, and able women of God, the possibilities are endless.
Further Info on being a Help Meet: Created To Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl (I like and dis-agree with some things in this book but you can read it for yourself and ask God to show you his perfect plan as a help meet.)