Let’s Get Physical

Have you ever felt disconnected, separated, like you were living with a roommate instead of your spouse?

The roommate syndrome is very common. It can happen at any time during the marriage. For us, it occurred between the third and fourth child. I love my husband and took care of him, but the butterflies had flown away. To be totally honest, life got busy. If I wasn’t pregnant, I was breastfeeding, and if I wasn’t breastfeeding I was pregnant. I had four kids within six years. I worked and homeschooled during all my pregnancies. I allowed my children to consume me…I was depleted and exhausted…there was nothing left to give my husband.

I could feel the separation, actually it was more like the Great Wall of China. One thing I started noticing was the lack of flirting and where was his eyes, not on me, how about his hands? I had pushed him away so far that there was nothing left but a cold environment of two roommates coming in and out of a house. One bringing in the pay check to pay the bills, the other was a CEO of the house.

20141006-112729.jpgI never stopped loving my husband and vice versa, but the sparks and fireworks were snuffed out. If you feel like you are living this way now, let me encourage you to pray. Fight for your marriage, ask God to help you to be the best husband or wife you can be, to awaken the passion and to open your eyes to your spouse’s needs. Second, go to your husband/wife and ask them to forgive you. Don’t expect it in return, it’s about you and your part. Let God take care of your spouse in His timing. Then, you guessed it…the fun part…let’s get physical, physical…a hand on their leg as you watch tv, a back rub as you walk by them in the kitchen, or even eye contact in the midst of a party to let them know they are the only one you really care about. Roommates don’t touch, but newly married couples can’t keep their hands off each other! I don’t know about you, but I’ll take the a newlywed marriage over a roommate relationship any day.

Let me leave you with this; Even though the cloud has been cleared from your vision, it doesn’t mean it has for the love of your life. Be patient, avoid nagging, pressuring, or ingenuine affection. The Colosseum wasn’t built in a day. Continue to pray and even fast, then patiently wait for God’s most radiant pyrotechnics show!

Can the body separate?

20140808-152446.jpgHave you ever said to yourself, “Why did I marry this man? What did I see in him? He doesn’t even love me and I don’t think I love him either.”

If the answer is yes, then picture with me this: Does the leg say to the body, “I don’t like the direction you are walking, therefore I’m going to find another body to belong to.” Or does the body say to the head, “I don’t like how you think, so I’m leaving to find another head that agrees with me.” No, because they are one. Ephesians 5:31 says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” The term “one flesh” means that just as our bodies are one whole entity and cannot be divided into pieces, so God intended it to be with marriage. There are no longer two individuals, but now there is one entity (a married couple)…Therefore, how can we separate from our body?

I know there are challenges in marriage. Some of our deepest emotional wounds can come from our spouse. They are the closest to our heart and know how to reach places that should not be reached, but that is not a reason to gruesomely pull “the body” apart.

When these thoughts come into your mind, you must stop them immediately. Do not feed or meditate on them…Instead, pray and replace them with promises of God’s love and truth.

My prayer today is for the married couples that are suffering, the ones that are ready to throw in the towel. God I ask you to speak to their hearts. I pray forgiveness takes place, pride gives in, and walls are crushed. Only you know the personal struggle each couple is facing this week, give them the strength to press on. Allow healing to take place where words have ripped them to the core. You are a miracle working God, not just in our health, but in our marriages and these marriages are sick…they are depleted and exhausted. I pray for a breath of fresh air and an amazing amount of love to wash over these marriages today. In Jesus Name Amen

*The above blog is not referring to emotional or physical abuse. Please talk to someone if abuse is happening in your marriage.