More Than Happiness

Posted on September 28, 2014 by fromthecommittedheart

“What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?” -Gary Thomas

The truth is, marriage makes us confront our ugly that we may have ignored before. Just try to walk around the house with an attitude for a couple of days, or couple of hours in our house, it won’t last long without noticing. Our spouse challenges us in good and sometimes bad ways. Thankfully, we have God to lean on, in times of frustration, when the wrong buttons have been pushed.

We need to accept and remember from the moment we said “I do” you gave up “me” and replaced it with “us”. You quickly learn not everything you do is perfect and your opinions are not facts. Marriage is amusing, intriguing, and beautiful, but it’s design is greater than our happiness.

Marriage provides growth as an individual and as a Christian. It is a constant reminder of what commitment and covenant means. It also teaches us how to forgive time and time again, like our Heavenly Father forgives us.

Friend, the moment you think your marriage is all about “your” happiness, you’re in trouble.

Who’s at your center?

Posted on September 13, 2014 by fromthecommittedheart

“Whatever we place at the center of our lives will get the bulk of our care and attention.” -George Muller

To be totally honest and transparent…God at times was put on the back burner. I had a newborn to take care of or two toddlers and a newborn. Then there was my husband, the house, bills, and don’t forget about the mountain of laundry piling up! There was always something, always an excuse!

Thankfully, I realized I needed change. My priorities were wrong and my marriage was feeling it. There would alway be a “to do list”. There would always be something or someone screaming for my attention. I had to choose….God or all these distractions. You also have to make a choice and it’s not a one time affair, but everyday you have to choose…how much do you want God?

Signs that God is Not at your Center:
-weariness
-fatigue
-angry
-short temper
-anxious
-depression
-bitterness
-low self-worth
-tension with your spouse
-lack of self-control
-poor quality of sleep
-problems with critical thinking

Now I ask you…What’s at your center?

(The Message)
Romans 12:1-2 So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Marriage Mentor

Posted on September 1, 2014 by fromthecommittedheart

“….When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” John 8:44

The enemy will say whatever it takes to bring division in your marriage.
I encourage you to pray for a marriage mentor. Someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you. This can be a difficult thing to seek out. This is why I strongly recommend asking God to direct your decisions and discernment for the right mentor.

By having a mentor, the devil’s lies will not be effective. That mentor will be able to speak truth in the darkness. They will also provide accountability, wisdom, and encouragement. You don’t have to feel alone, God has people waiting to stand beside you. Ask him today to reveal that person.

Imperfect….

Posted on August 18, 2014 by fromthecommittedheart

Social media can paint a pretty picture of perfection. Allow me to shine some truth in this area…there are NO perfect marriages! The grass isn’t greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it. We are all humans, filled with imperfections. Remove the false ideas from your mind, shower your spouse and marriage with grace, love, and forgiveness! No picture looks the same, paint your masterpiece with God’s help and leave comparison to the athletes.

Can the body separate?

Posted on August 11, 2014 by fromthecommittedheart

Have you ever said to yourself, “Why did I marry this man? What did I see in him? He doesn’t even love me and I don’t think I love him either.”

If the answer is yes, then picture with me this: Does the leg say to the body, “I don’t like the direction you are walking, therefore I’m going to find another body to belong to.” Or does the body say to the head, “I don’t like how you think, so I’m leaving to find another head that agrees with me.” No, because they are one. Ephesians 5:31 says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” The term “one flesh” means that just as our bodies are one whole entity and cannot be divided into pieces, so God intended it to be with marriage. There are no longer two individuals, but now there is one entity (a married couple)…Therefore, how can we separate from our body?

I know there are challenges in marriage. Some of our deepest emotional wounds can come from our spouse. They are the closest to our heart and know how to reach places that should not be reached, but that is not a reason to gruesomely pull “the body” apart.

When these thoughts come into your mind, you must stop them immediately. Do not feed or meditate on them…Instead, pray and replace them with promises of God’s love and truth.

My prayer today is for the married couples that are suffering, the ones that are ready to throw in the towel. God I ask you to speak to their hearts. I pray forgiveness takes place, pride gives in, and walls are crushed. Only you know the personal struggle each couple is facing this week, give them the strength to press on. Allow healing to take place where words have ripped them to the core. You are a miracle working God, not just in our health, but in our marriages and these marriages are sick…they are depleted and exhausted. I pray for a breath of fresh air and an amazing amount of love to wash over these marriages today. In Jesus Name Amen

*The above blog is not referring to emotional or physical abuse. Please talk to someone if abuse is happening in your marriage.

Do You Have The Regulator?

Posted on August 3, 2014 by fromthecommittedheart

Marriage is made up of two people from different upbringings, personalities, ways of thinking, and maybe even different cultures. With all that going on, you add financial strain, pressures of work, a house to maintain and a couple of kids to raise and you have a pressure cooker ready to pop, unless…you have God at your center.

At the top of a pressure cooker is a regulator. The regulator releases the steam from inside the pot when it has built up. God is our regulator.

A couple of days a go my feelings were hurt by my husband. At that moment I could have exploded, put up a wall or even left the house, but I didn’t. Instead, I went to my closet and cried out to Jesus. I allowed Him to regulate the steam that was built up inside of me. I allowed God to remove the “me” out of the situation.

If ever you think you can handle your marriage on your own, be careful. It will be only a matter of time before you see an explosion! Don’t wait until it’s too late…ask God to be the regulator in your life and your marriage. Allow him to remove the steam and for healing to take place.

With this Ring

Posted on July 28, 2014 by fromthecommittedheart

Your husband needs your prayers in every part of his life. From the moment he wakes up there’s battle for his mind and heart. The enemy knows if he can take the husband down, the family will also fall!

Let your ring serve as a reminder. When you’re folding laundry and you feel your ring move, pray for your husband. When you’re driving around town and the sun shines on it, pray for your husband.

Your husband won’t only benefit from it, so will your marriage.

For more on praying for your husband, click here.

67 Activities for Couples

Posted on July 21, 2014 by fromthecommittedheart

One of the best things about marriage is the amazing company you have. I’m married to my best friend and we get to spend the rest of our lives having fun together!

Below are 67 different activities I have come up with for you and your spouse to do. I know these aren’t for everyone, that is why I have given you so many ideas.

1. Biking
2. Scuba Diving
3. Surfing
4. Basketball
5. Batting Cages
6. Baseball Game
7. Tennis
8. Boat Ride
9. Frisbee
10. Go-Cart Racing
11. Bowling
12. Cooking Class
13. Fishing
14. Kayaking
15. Museum
16. Art Exhibit
17. Gardening
18. Flea Market
19. Board Games
20. Puzzle
21. 5K
22. Nature Trail Walks
23. Planetarium
24. Amusement Park
25. Flea Market
26. Croquet
27. Mini Golf
28. Zoo
29. Hiking
30. Camping
31. Marathon
32. Cooking Class
33. Theater Performance
34. Couples Massage
35. Whitewater Rafting
36. Swimming
37. Canoe Ride
38. Water Park
39. Star Gazing
40. Train Trip
41. Whale Watching
42. Bird Sanctuary
43. Walk the Mall
44. Picnic
45. Dinner Theater
46. Horseback Riding
47. Volunteer
48. Beach Trip
49. Play a Card Game
50. Remodel a Room Together
51. Take turns Reading Aloud
52. Workout
53. Concert
54. Rock Climbing
55. Paintball
56. Hot Air Balloon Ride
57. Circus
58. Watch a Sunset
59. Food Factory
60. Football Game
61. Movie Marathon
62. Blind Food Tasting
63. Racquetball
64. Hunting
65. Art Class
66. Skiing/Snowboarding
67. Pass a Football 🙂

What’s your favorite activity/date, you like to do with your spouse?

Go Ahead and Kiss!

Posted on July 8, 2014 by fromthecommittedheart

Last night, I was laying on the floor, scrolling through some social media, while the family was watching a movie. Josiah, my two-year-old, walked over to where I was, grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the couch, to where my husband, Javier, was sitting and wanted me to sit down beside Javier. He then crawled up on his dad’s legs and once he was situated, he looked right at his dad and said, “Mama” in a sweet voice, while pointing at me. Javier gently leaned over and gave me a couple of kisses on my cheek. Josiah’s face lit up, smiling from ear to ear…then he leaned over and kissed me.

What can PDA (Public Display of Affection) between dad and mom, provide for their children?

1. PDA provides security. Children need to feel safe. When they see Dad and Mom arguing and fighting, stress and even rebellion can take place. Children can feel the tension that comes between their parents, which makes them also tense. “Think of your marriage as the foundation of your home and family,” says Jean Odwazny, licensed clinical social worker with the Child, Adolescent and Family Development Center in Lake Bluff. “If that foundation crumbles, so can the family.”

2. By showing a little PDA in front of your children, you are demonstrating what a healthy marriage should look like. You are their example and model to their future relationship one day.

3. The last benefit I want to mention about a little PDA, is happiness. When dad and mom are hugging, they are more than likely sharing those hugs and kisses with their children. This environment of love creates a happy marriage therefore a happy family.

I say keep the “strong discussions” behind doors. Then go ahead and flirt a little, cuddle up close, show the kids how much daddy and mommy love each other. They might shriek with disgust, but down deep they sigh a breath of relief, knowing their parents love each other and teaches them about the sacredness of the covenant of marriage.

Silent Expectations

Posted on June 23, 2014 by fromthecommittedheart

When I worked at Disney on Saturdays, during the summer as a photographer, my days were long and exhausting. Standing outside in 99 degree weather for 8 to 10 hours, smiling and talking to guest, one after another, would drain the energy out of me. The last thing I wanted, was to come home to a messy house with no food. My expectations could be for my husband to have dinner ready and the house cleaned, but if I walked in the door and this wasn’t the case, I would be disappointed and even frustrated. However, if I expected nothing and came home to a cooked meal, I would be surprised and grateful. Expectations can lead to disappointment. When we expect nothing, everything becomes a surprise. You are also more grateful in the situations that you expect less.

Take the expectations and pressure off your spouse. If something means that much to you, tell them, but don’t hold silent expectations, that can cause resentment and bitterness.

From The Committed Heart

Category Archives: Marriage