respect | From The Committed Heart

Last Monday I wrote about respect, today I want to talk about a six letter word…one of the most dreaded words by females. Many women ignore this word, rebuke this word, and down right hate this word! So, what is this six letter word that has caused so much controversy…submit. Yes, I said it, submit. Before you start burning bras and yelling at the top of your lungs, “equality!”…hear me out.

There are many different things I could say about submitting, but for time sake let me hit on just a few. The first thing I would like to say is, God does not value the husband more than wife. In Romans 2:11 and Acts 10:34 it tells us, “For God does not show favoritism.” Also in Galatians 3:28 it says, “nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Now that you know God does not see your husband as his favorite child lets move on.

I want to take a look at Philippians 2:5-8, the word says, “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!” Wow, even though Christ is equal to God, he did not go against Him. Instead, Jesus subordinated Himself to the will of the Father in order to carry out the plan of redemption. As we, the wife, should also submit ourselves to our husband so that God’s plan for the family can be carried out. Just imagine the chaos and arguing in the household of a family where the wife is constantly going against her husband. God is a God of order (1 Corinthians 14:33).

We each have a role. The wife’s role is not inferior, but her role is different. The Lord God says, in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him.” God knew that our husband would need help. We were created for the man’s sake not the other way around.

To be a Proverbs 31 wife, you will need to add this six letter word to your life and then you can walk in complete joy knowing you are honoring God’s command.

Dear Lord, help each wife to see submission through the eyes of Christ and not through the opinions of the world. I pray every negative thought that we may have on submission is replaced with Your words of truth. In Jesus Name Amen

However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly] Ephesians 5:33 (The Amplified Bible)

It’s easier to find money on the side of the road than it is to find respect. But we are called and commanded by God to respect our husbands, so why don’t we do it?

For starters, I believe some people are simply not taught how to respect our husband. We might have never seen our mom respecting our dad, so what would make us think we needed to do so when we got married. Society can also play a role in how we treat our husband, just watch a couple of tv shows…you will most likely hear the wife putting down the husband, talking down to her husband and then making fun of her husband behind his back. We have gotten so far away from what the word has told us to do that we think these shows are normal and to respect your husband is humiliating. Wow, have we got it backwards.

Like it or not, husbands have been given authority over their families by God. 1 Corinthians 11:3 says, “…the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” I know this is not a popular scripture, even among Christians (which is sad), but never the less, it is truth.

Have you ever watched a man who’s married to a woman that stands beside him, encourages him daily, supports and respects his decisions? If you look closely, you will see a man that walks with pride and confidence. Now watch the man who is belittled by his wife multiple times a day and inappropriately contradicted in front of others…this man walks insecure and will even question his decision making.

Below are some questions to self examine yourself and your level of respect for your husband. If there is any question, ask your husband what he thinks.

1. Do you speak to your husband in a condescending, “put down” manner?
“What’s the matter with you?”
“What you said is ridiculous.”
“You’re too slow, I’ll do it myself.”
2. Do you treat your husband in private as respectfully as you do your pastor, your neighbor, or your friends in public?
3. Does your countenance show your disrespect by angry looks, looks of disgust, crossed arms, etc?
4. Do you bring up his shortcomings to others?
5. Do you compare him unfavorably with other men?

Remember your husband shouldn’t have to earn your respect, it’s something you choose to show him…regardless of your circumstance and in spite of your feelings.

God help us to respect the man you have put over our household. Help us to see we can empower our husband with our words and how we can also cripple him with our disrespect. Give us wisdom to know when to speak and patience for the times we should hold our tongue. May we set the right example for our children in the way we respect their father, so others can say our husband is truly blessed. In Jesus Name Amen

A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.
Proverbs 12:4A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
Proverbs 31:10-12