Posted on May 26, 2014 by fromthecommittedheart

“It’s not my job to make my spouse happy!” -Kirk Martin

It’s okay for them to be upset. By accepting this truth, you won’t feel the need to nag your spouse about their feelings or attitude.

Yes, of course, ask them if they want to talk about it, but if the response is no…then feel the freedom to walk away and give them space.

When our spouse is upset, it makes US feel uncomfortable. We don’t want someone around us to be mad, when we are happy. That is why we feel the need to change their emotions. There is only one person you can control and that is yourself!

4 Things to Remember
*Don’t Nag
*Don’t Try to Change their Attitude or Feelings
*Give Them Space
*Pray for them

Again, the ONLY person you can control is your self!

Garden or Desert

Posted on May 19, 2014 by fromthecommittedheart

What you feed grows. What you starve dies! Have you fed your marriage lately?

How do you prevent waking up to a stranger one day? How do you prevent the “roommate” feeling? INVEST! Invest in your spouse and your marriage. If you feel distant from your spouse, don’t ignore it…face it, talk about it, but don’t push it under the rug.

Relationships take deposits, take time to invest in your marriage!

Extramarital Affairs

Posted on May 11, 2014 by fromthecommittedheart

Extramarital “affairs” take many different forms.
* Activities affair
* Materialism affair
* Career affair
* Family affair
* Fantasy affair (which can include pornography or romance novels)
* Love affair

Which kind of affair is most tempting to you?

Quitting is NOT an Option

Posted on April 27, 2014 by fromthecommittedheart

A husband and wife will agree and disagree, it’s part of being human and having different personalities…but they may never agree on quitting.

Start your marriage off right and never use these words…separation or divorce. Don’t speak them, don’t even think about them. Quitting is not an option. Agree to push, press, run or whatever it takes to get through every obstacle that comes your way as a couple. “What God has joined together, let no one separate.” Including the two people who said “I Do”!

Monday Marriage Nugget

Posted on April 21, 2014 by fromthecommittedheart

Marriage Monday Nugget: The day you realize you can’t change someone…is the day you’ll stop nagging.
*Be his wife, not his mom.

Is your Marriage oiled?

Posted on April 7, 2014 by fromthecommittedheart

Let me ask you a question. What will happen if you don’t oil your car? It will eventually break down, right? The same goes for your marriage. Unforgiveness brings isolation, destruction, and dry feelings, that will lead to divorce if not addressed.

I encourage you today friend, be slow to anger and quick to forgive. Remember just how much God has already forgiven you for. (Col. 3:13)

Commitment more than a Word

Posted on March 24, 2014 by fromthecommittedheart

“Commitment is more than a word, it’s a choice you make everyday to honor your word.”

Finding people today that stay committed is rare. When things get difficult and adversity comes, most quit…their jobs, friendships, church and even their marriages. Commitment is not for the weak or selfish. Commitment goes beyond our own strength, to stay true to our word we must rely on God for that strength. I guarantee, there will always be opposition, complications, and obstacles that come into your life. I encourage you in those moments to take refuge with your Heavenly Father, ask Him to give you the strength to overcome and stay committed to the decisions you have made.

My husband and I were talking the other day about a couple and then he turned to me and asked, “is there hope for that marriage?” I said, “there’s always hope!” Friend, I know life is difficult at times, but don’t give up! When the clouds look dark on one side, turn to the other side until you find the blue sky…it’s there, it just might take a little time to find it! Take hope in knowing today, God will never give up on you. Pray often, stay committed and believe we are more than conquerors through him that loves us!

Power Verses:

Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. ~Romans 8:37

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. ~Philippians 4:13

Kill or Build…it’s your choice

Posted on March 17, 2014 by fromthecommittedheart

15 Marriage Builders
(from Pastor Chris Hodges)
-love yourself first
-start each day with a hug
-say “I love you” before you part ways
-compliment freely and often
-slow down
-go on a date once every week
-kiss unexpectedly
-apologize sincerely
-be forgiving
-let her give you directions when your’re lost
-laugh at his jokes
-Men- ask her to marry you again
-Women- say yes
-never go to bed mad
-always work it out

10 Marriage Killers
(from Pastor Chris Hodges)
-over commitment and physical exhaustion
-debt and conflict over how money will be spent
-selfishness
-interference from in-laws
-unrealistic expectations
-alcohol or substance abuse
-pornography, gambling, and other addictive habits
-“grass is greener” syndrome
-business success

Who’s Winning?

Posted on March 10, 2014 by fromthecommittedheart

“I’m hungry, where’s lunch? Why isn’t it ready?” “I don’t know! What’s wrong with your hands?” “Yes, I won that battle…one point for me,” you think to yourself. Remarks like these can be cute at first, but over time, they can act as knives, cutting your marriage into pieces.

“When we wound our partner, we handicap our marriage, and we inflict injury on ourselves in the process.” ~James Stuart Bell

God has brought us together to be on the same team, not two different teams…keeping record of rights and wrongs. I encourage you today to tear up the score card, forget about the one-word zingers, and become a team that gives honor to God, your marriage, and yourself!

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,it keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Will It Matter in Ten Years?

Posted on February 26, 2014 by fromthecommittedheart

There were many times in the early years of our marriage we would stand our ground after a disagreement. I would give the silent treatment and he would mirror it. We were young, full of pride, and had much to learn!

I remember our Pastor saying, one Sunday morning, “is it going to matter in ten years?” Wow! this question changed the way I looked at a lot of things, including petty arguments.

Now fast forward ten years later and guess what? I cannot tell you what one of our arguments were about. I remember some of the harsh words said because of the frustrated emotions, but not why we got to that point in the first place.

Jennifer Smith makes a great point, she writes, “Remember, Christ did not wait for an apology from anyone before surrendering Himself in humility to make things right.” Don’t let pride ruin your marriage and destroy your family. Be quick to say, “I’m sorry“ and mean it.

Dear Lord, thank you for giving us the perfect example to live by, your son, Jesus. He loves us so much that while we were sinners, he died for us. Please give us the strength to forgive quickly, even when we aren’t to blame. Now soften our hearts and fill them with your love. In Jesus Name, Amen

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. -Ephesians 4:26-27

From The Committed Heart

Tag Archives: marriage