Marriage Monday
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Silent Expectations
When I worked at Disney on Saturdays, during the summer as a photographer, my days were long and exhausting. Standing outside in 99 degree weather for 8 to 10 hours, smiling and talking to guest, one after another, would drain the energy out of me. The last thing I wanted, was to come home to a messy house with no food. My expectations could be for my husband to have dinner ready and the house cleaned, but if I walked in the door and this wasn’t the case, I would be disappointed and even frustrated. However, if I expected nothing and came home to a cooked meal, I would be surprised and grateful. Expectations can lead to disappointment. When we expect nothing, everything becomes a surprise. You are also more grateful in the situations that you expect less.
Take the expectations and pressure off your spouse. If something means that much to you, tell them, but don’t hold silent expectations, that can cause resentment and bitterness.
B-E-E the best….
Have you ever thought to yourself, “how does a bee fly?” Its body is too big; its wingspan is too shallow. It really shouldn’t be able to fly, but it does. It does what God has designed it to do!
“You can B-E-E the best.”
Be aware of who you are.
Eliminate the negatives from your mind.
Expect the best from yourself and other people.
These words are from Thelma Wells, founder and president of A Woman of God Ministries, L.L.C.
Thelma explains in the book, A Woman and Her God, about living in the spirit of unity. Rather than expending energy on something we have no control over, rather than disliking somebody because he or she can do something that we can’t do, He wants us to unite our talents as one. God needs you to weave together the people, the plan, the resources, and everything He’s given you, so you can be everything He’s called you to be-living in oneness with your family, oneness with your church.
1 Corinthians 12:26-28, “If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. And God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, of helping, of guidance, and of different kinds of tongues.”
“When we blend all those special abilities together in Christ, the Creator of unity, we get something very special.” -Thelma Wells
Romans 15:5 “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
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A’s Luau Party
Aloha!
At this Luau Party there was a hurricane, hence the leaning Tiki Hut and Pineapple tree. 🙂 No, really we had an issue with our cake. We actually had to prop it up with plates and candles. A few days later I showed our Publix bakery manager and she gave me a full refund, so would I still recommend Publix? YES! This is the first issue I have had out of the 30 plus cakes I bought over the years.
I picked up these pineapple cups from the Dollar Store. I thought they were the perfect favor for this Hawaiian party.
I also picked up a few fun Luau Costume Props from the Dollar Store, for a fun photo booth.
Here’s my first pineapple tree. Super easy to make, all you need is three to four pineapples and eight to ten skewers sticks. If you plan in advance you can pick up some tree foliage to add to the top. It gives it a better look.
Abuelo working his magic to take this Tiki Hut apart. It was very serious business!
My Cubanita drinking her espresso while opening gifts 🙂
Thanks Aunt CC for the cake in the face!
*If you live in the Central Florida area and are looking for something exciting to add to your party, I highly recommend Leaping to Fun. We have used them over six years for all of our kids parties. They have bounce houses, wet slides, food machines and more. For more information click here and make sure to tell them Bethany Boy sent you.
From a doctor telling us she wouldn’t make it through the pregnancy. To being born at 2 lbs and 1Â oz! You have more than survived sweet girl, you have flourished into a beautiful, caring, thoughtful, God loving, artistic young lady. And we are so proud of you!!!
Listen
Lord help us to listen now when things seem not so important to us, but are very important to our little ones. For if we listen now to the small matters, they will run to us when the big things come later on in life.
Kissing
One kiss, two kisses, three…Every morning the kids and I walk Daddy to his car. We each take our turn giving him hugs and kisses, but mine are extra special. When he’s in a hurry or has a lot on his mind he may only kiss me once, but most of the times I get at least two. The first one is always routine, but the second and third are electrifying. They say, I don’t only like you, but I still love you with all my heart and being, I care about you, and you are the one and only!
Kissing may indeed help maintain that bond; the researchers found that more frequent kissing in a relationship was linked to the quality of the relationship (realitycheck.com), so kiss away my married couples. Don’t let the most simple of act die away from your marriage. This little gesture is the rainbow sprinkles in your marriage and can be just the thing that keeps it flavorful!
Who are you battling?
The battle is not with your spouse…
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians  6:12
Perfection Can Be Toxic!
The church community has preached for years to strive for perfection. We are imperfect humans living in an imperfect world, yet we should strive for perfection because God is perfect and we were created out of his image. This image of perfection can be toxic. We will never achieve perfection until we reach heaven, so therefore we are continually setting ourselves up for failure.
If you would have asked me a couple of weeks a go, “Bethany are you a perfectionist?” Â I would have replied quickly no, are you kidding me. I have four kids running around my house 24/7, how can I do anything perfect, but after spending some time with God…He revealed areas in my life I didn’t want to acknowledge and one of those areas was a hunger to be “perfect”.
I have personally learned that this desire to do everything perfect has added large amounts of anxiety and stress, not only to my life, but to my husband and children’s as well.
We are taught early on, “Practice makes perfect.” Does it really? I’m not sure of that. I like what my daughter’s preschool teacher taught her instead, “Practice makes better!”
Free yourself from this heavy burden! We are human, we will mess up over and over again, and that’s okay. Through our weakness God can be glorified. I say instead of perfection, strive for excellence. Excellence is the quality of being outstanding or extremely good, but not perfect!
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“It’s not my job to make my spouse happy!” -Kirk Martin
It’s okay for them to be upset. By accepting this truth, you won’t feel the need to nag your spouse about their feelings or attitude.
Yes, of course, ask them if they want to talk about it, but if the response is no…then feel the freedom to walk away and give them space.
When our spouse is upset, it makes US feel uncomfortable. We don’t want someone around us to be mad, when we are happy. That is why we feel the need to change their emotions. There is only one person you can control and that is yourself!
4 Things to Remember
*Don’t Nag
*Don’t Try to Change their Attitude or Feelings
*Give Them Space
*Pray for them
Again, the ONLY person you can control is your self!
From The Committed Heart 