“MAMA, Kayla took my toy,” screamed Alayna. Then she proclaimed, ” I had it first!” Kayla then shouted in her defense, “No, I had it first!” Most parents would ask, “Well, who had it first?” and this is how the problem would get solved, but I wonder if this is the right question to ask.

A couple of years back I went to a homeschool conference where speakers from all over came to share their wisdom and tidbits. One lecture stuck out more than the rest…the speaker spoke about the heart and taking time to examine it after the action.

We, as parents, are quick sometimes to correct the behavior and to get our children to behave the way we thing they should. But that doesn’t mean their heart is in agreement with the corrected behavior. This is proven when children keep showing the same wrong behavior over again. We need to dig deeper as parents to the root of the problem, the heart.

Maybe next time, instead of asking, “who had it first?” ask, “what is your heart saying?” Is it speaking selfishly or with bitterness. Yes, they are kids and kids are born selfish, but that does not mean they need to stay that way. We, as parents, need to make them aware of what their heart is speaking, when they display their wrong behavior. With this awareness and God’s help, I believe we will see a change in our children’s behavior, stemming from the change in their heart.